imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

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so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

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letmelickyournipples:

my sister borrowed my laptop so i checked the history and it was this picture refreshed 246 times image

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  • 26 minutes ago
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yutoube:

i need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash

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  • 27 minutes ago
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shorten:

"how are you feeling?"

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  • 27 minutes ago
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yoncehaunted:

When the teacher answers your question but you still don’t understand 

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  • 27 minutes ago
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dutchster:

why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor

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  • 28 minutes ago
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adrians:

just noticed the webcam flashing above my monitor and realised I’ve been recording myself blogging in this position for an hour and twenty minutes

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  • 30 minutes ago
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trust:

bongfucker:

trust:

compliment me

barbecue sauce

thanks

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